Alpkit – Flatirons titanium cutlery

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Alpkit – Flatirons titanium cutlery

There are a number of ways to eat a meal – fingers; chopsticks; shoving one’s face into one’s bowl; licking your plate clean like the shameless mongrel you probably are and… er… that’s it.
But by far the most efficient method when camping is to use cutlery like a normal person would.

Enter Flatirons from which are neither flat nor made of iron.

Being titanium, this knife, fork and spoon set is about the same weight as one third of a hard-boiled egg and is all held together by a titanium karabiner to make sure bits don’t go wandering off.
There’s not a huge amount to say about cutlery though, but what I can tell you is I have eaten using all three items and not once did I miss my face.
There are no sharp unfinished bits, no funny tasting metal when you stick your tongue between the fork tines (I know you know what I mean) and the lack of weight means you’re less likely to knock your teeth out in the midst of an animated conversation while nomming. Although I guess you could still stab yourself in the eye…

Yes, the egg is square. Laid by a cubist chicken.

The serrated knife is also reasonably sharp too so, as you can see from the picture, it will slice through a sausage without thinking twice. Bevelled handles mean that everything kind of fits together if you lay them all on top of each other, but they don’t lock together to form a single unit when not in use, which could be a design tweak for next time if anyone important reads this.

Although light these implements are reassuringly strong but I daresay you could bend them if you wanted to, although it’ll take some going to damage them in a backpack if you store them with a little care. They also have a matt finish so will suffer light scratches, but that’s neither here nor there unless you have a cutlery-polishing OCD thing going on.

The only two issues I’ve found aren’t really issues at all, but I’m going to mention them anyway – the spoon is too big to be a teaspoon but too small to be a desert spoon, and the karabiner, according to Mrs Muz, is “crap”.
That is to say it keeps everything together as it should, but it sticks open occasionally and the narrow end is too narrow for the cutlery to swing about freely, with random implements threatening to stick you one if you get too close when they’re wedged in the angle.

SUMMARY: Chunky plastic camping cutlery has its uses, but metal fighting irons just feel nicer and you can actually spear things with the fork. Except silverskin onions. Evasive little swines. Anyway, these do the job you want them to, have longevity and weigh next to nowt.

Price: £10
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Tags and search info for this review: This is a camping cutlery review. tests and reviews sporks, cutlery utensils, outdoor gear and camping equipment.